Off The Meds PI

And Now We Talk About... Relationships

So. I'm not a person with a lot of good experiences with relationships. When they are good, they tend to turn very bad very quickly. I don't know if it's me, I don't know if it's the guys I'm with. But at the moment, I'm very much... lost. Lost because I'm confused to if every time I find a fault in someone, I amplify it in my mind or if that fault is really that bad. I have no idea. It scares me.

I probably shouldn't be writing about this in a blog, fuck it, I know i'm not. But hey. Artists use pain to create art right? And hey, I need some practice.

..........SO here's a bit of my mind for ya....

It doesn't hurt. It used to, but it doesn't anymore. The feeling of need, the burn, the ache. When it ceases, are we comfortable, or have we lost the fire of love that burns within us? Every time they're together, she gets more uncertain. Does he love her, does she deserve him, is she the one for him, is she bringing him down? People remind her that these aren't the things she should be thinking about. Continuously going in circle of she needs to be fixed and he doesn't like her. Should she be angry at herself or happy at herself? Must she be free first? Will she be able to be free? She feels so connected to people, everyone in her past still blooms in her heart, will he be the same? A lost, painful shadow? Or should she not be worrying about this? Should she be going for the ride? If she's stopping to think, does this mean she does not want to be with him? She loves him, she knows that much. But he is not the first person she goes to when she is sad, she is afraid to show sadness, weakness, failure. She feels like she is failing him. She hates that feeling. WHAT does she do? WHO does she turn to?

....

Just a piece of my mind rambling there, like the rest of my silly little blogs. Enjoy life everyone. xD