All About Me, It Involves You
I have always been obsessed with writing. As a child my father made me write stories every night, short or long, maybe even a paragraph of absolute gibberish. It was his way to allow me to express myself and enjoy the English word. I am forever great-full he opened up this side of me. Through word, through stories, I was able to learn about feelings. Words were able to move me in ways I had not experienced. It allowed my imagination to run wild, it allowed me to understand human nature, it allowed me to understand what I feel is true joy. Words have, still do and forever will move me because of my upbringing. I am so very happy about that. I keep and read a lot of things from my past. My diaries, my stories, my rants, fuck; even my assignments from school that I loved and never had the heart to throw away. This makes me understand myself, my past and how I am now. Whenever I feel something, I have the urge to write it down, as I know it will move me later in life. Even really bad depressing poems that I wrote when I was ten, can move me to tears or laughter, it will bring me back to that day, it will remind me of my sorrow and my accomplishment, my accomplishment of getting over it. It allows me to understand who I am. I wrote something while I was having a smoke, I had a thought, a feeling, something I wanted to keep hold of... This is what it is:
"I write the way I think or speak. Most that do that are in some sort of film/television. Why? So that as soon as something springs to mind they can say it and be entertaining to other people. I write because I hate people. I'm bad with people. I can't speak intelligently nor can I ever say what I really mean or want to say. I'm not a speaker, I'm a writer. When I write all I have is my pen and paper or keyboard and screen. I write to entertain myself, if you happen to enjoy what I enjoy then awesome, maybe one day i'll be a famous writer and be able to indulge myself with the fake happiness money can buy me. If not, then I shall have many memories saved for me to look back on and make me feel how I felt when I wrote a certain poem, story, rant or random sex scene. I allow memories to fill me and reminisce on my naive days and my inspiring days. I don't write to please you, I write to please myself. I like to think that's something unique about me. Those who enjoy what I write enjoy me. Enjoy the way my mind works. That knowledge is happiness money can't buy. That is the happiness you people that read what I write, fill me up with. I wish to thank you. For being a fan of me. Now; publish or buy my book when it's finished. Allow me to find others who are as crazy as me. Allow me to have more happiness. Read me. Read what I am, who I am, how I am, what I am. Read where I am in life. I hope it fills you with the emotions it fills me. 'Cause if it does, then you love me and therefore somehow love yourself.
To My Readers.
I love you....I love me... <3 xD"
By knowing yourself you can know others. By loving yourself you can love others. To put yourself before others is not shallow. It is a kindness you grant to those close to you. Those who know you, the real you. To those who love you. Because if you do not love and know yourself, you cannot know and love someone else. It is a message as old as time and a message I would like to re-write in my own words. For someone to love and know others, they must love and know where that love and knowledge originated from. For if they don't, they don't understand what it is to know something nor love it. How would you know a feeling that you have not felt for yourself? I have felt anger for myself, guilt for myself, pity for my self and jealousy for myself. (Jealous of my writing not being able to be voiced) I have felt love for myself therefore can and do love others. I love my boyfriend, my family, my friends. I truly do feel for them what I feel for myself. This is the note I wish to share and save for myself. To remember, that I do love my readers. For they love themselves and me. Or at least enjoy themselves and me. I share happiness with them. I enjoy them.
To My Readers.
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